A Real Compliment
My wife bought me a new shirt. It fits well and looks reasonably good–not a combination I often enjoy with shirts. This evening I was closing the blinds and turning off the computer in Sophie’s room to get ready for lights out. Sophie looked up from her book and said, “I like your new shirt Dad.” Then she added, “I like your shorts too, even though they aren’t new.” No quid pro quo. No adult feeding her “polite” lines, just a sincere compliment for no reason whatsoever. In other words, the best kind of compliment. I nearly cried.
Sophie is eight and I’ve been getting choked up any time she shows her mature self. I miss the child I see her leaving behind, but I am absolutely proud of the young adult she is slowly becoming.
What occurred to me, the reason I’m sharing this, is that everything in our lives is given for our salvation. Sophie had just demonstrated unconditional love, the love of God for us, after I had harangued her through brushing teeth, taking allergy medicine, and getting pajamas on. Basically my “Stern Dad” routine.
Saint Theophan the Recluse said that we should not look for great causes or charities to support, but live our daily lives according to Christ’s commandments and treat everyone with love. (Paraphrased from The Spiritual Life and how to be attuned to it.) Although there are Orthodox groups dedicated to moral causes, the emphasis in Orthodox Christianity is on transforming ourselves in order to change the world. As the familiar saying of St. Saraphim goes, “Acquire a peaceful spirit, and around you thousands will be saved.”
Sophie reminded me of a very important truth, you never know how the small kindnesses you do will be a blessing to someone. Recently there was a car commercial, Volkswagen I think, where a chain reaction of kindness was traced back to a smile. We would do well to remember that every action, whether kind or unkind, ripples through the lives of more people than we can know.
Raphael,
Good to see you posting again and as usual it is a thought provoking one. I remember when my first husband died (memory eternal) and an old high school friend called me to give condolences. She said how sad she was to learn of his death and that it wished it hadn’t happened to me because I “was the nicest person in school, always having a hello and a genuine smile for everyone, no matter whether they were the geek or the jock or miss popularity.”
Every act of kindness counts. As you said, one never knows how far the ripple in the pond will go.